Harlan and I reenacted this scene first thing this morning. Only instead of a spider, it was a cockroach that was the size of a Buick. We’re also not broken up, but I did scare him awake by stage whispering, “HARLAN!” very close to his face. I then forced him to kill it with a copy of The Atlantic Monthly and a mostly empty can of Raid. 

Happy 2012!